Over the past few years, I've really tried to cut down on who has access to my life.  I was hesitant to cut out ex's friends to not seem petty or immature.  I was also hurt because I thought that I made friendships and not just that I was someone's girlfriend so they happened to be my friends out of convenience.  So over time, I learned and saw what true friendships are.  But really, I don't need to see updates or statuses of people who aren't actively in my life.  That's just not me.  I want to keep in touch with my inner circle and that's it.  I feel like I'm in more control that way.  I've experienced the rapid fire of gossip and how information reaches people who are not on a need to know basis.  Because of that initial hesitance, my ex ended up finding out about my engagement and sending me a private email to congratulate me when that act doesn't serve me positively or negatively, but was an excessive unnecessary thing that seemed to serve him more than me.  

So I finally did it.  I looked at people who had access to me and I revisited the active or inactive role they play in my life and started weeding people out.  It wasn't just ex's friends, but just people I've met over the years and socialized with at certain points in my life.

I guess it sort of goes against the grain of what we're told is normal to be social beings versus accepting where our boundaries are and where we have enough friends and people in our lives.  I've always been open and honest to people when asked a question.  I still am.  I will always be open to making a friend, but I will be quick to judge you on your actions towards me and how you treat me.  Red flags are red flags in any kind of relationship.  The people who bail all the time on plans for no good reason, the people who always say they miss you but don't do anything to change that, the ones who simply say they're to busy but make time for certain people in their lives but not you, and the people who don't try to stay active in your life but get upset that they aren't the first to be updated on your life events -- the list goes on.  It's quite tiring.  

But I'm just not apologetic anymore for always being the person to put in the effort and get none of it back and deciding it's not worth while for me anymore.

I moved and live further, but my true friends have all made a point to see me and keep in touch.  The real ones always will.  It was easier this time around to figure out who to break our news to because it was pretty clear who kept in touch and reached out in return when I reached out.  

I honestly still struggle to make certain cuts, but I have to acknowledge that other's actions and words are reflections of their character.  We're all too old to take anything back or say we didn't mean to because our actions and words should reflect what we mean rather than do harm and apologize later.