Okay, I'm going to do something new that I don't usually do and get really personal about my new career change: I recently started my career as an adjunct English professor at a community college and I've been avoiding this for months basically because it doesn't really feel real to me.  

My sister was in chemo all through out the summer from July - August.  It was 2 months of intensive treatment and I was there for her through out each and every treatment.  When this schedule was set, I stopped looking for a job.  I just didn't have the emotional, mental and physical capacity other than to go to her chemo treatments, go to work, then come back home and veg out on the couch.  This probably wasn't the healthiest coping mechanism but I was drained.  My sister would talk to me and emotionally purge what she's been thinking and feeling and it was a lot.  Granted, it was nice that her and I found a time and place to reconnect our relationship since over the years, we were sort of driven away from each other.  But it was just a really heavy time for me and I felt like I deserved to go home and do absolutely nothing.  Over time, my day job got to me.  The angry phone calls, upset students and parents, and that other emotional heaviness I felt.  So after a long and hard consideration with my husband and friends, I decided it was time to call it and quit.  I needed a break and we were in a financial place (gratefully) for me to take it.  I've always been quick on my feet and finding resolutions, so the idea of a month long unemployment didn't worry me so much.  I'm good with people, interviews, asking the right questions, etc...  

I put in a month long resignation figuring my place of work isn't the easiest place to replace employees.  I felt so much relief doing so and I found myself writing again.  Towards my third week, I got a phonecall and email about an emergent teaching opportunity — there was a huge waitlist and emergent need for instructors.  I interviewed the next day, and got hired for hte job the day after.  It was crazy because in 5 days of that notice, I would be in front of the classroom, running a group of students.  It was surreal.  But along with that surreal feeling, I didn't know I would be going through an emotional roller coaster.

Teaching has been my dream and I'm not sure what I expected, but everything I expected was thrown out the window once I was faced with real students.  I set out a curriculum and changed my curriculum as needed.  But I didn't really prepare myself for what it would all feel like.  I'm good at the organization and having to do what I have to do, but I never expected that I'd have to catch up with what I feel doing all of this.  I love planning the day to the day activities and my outside the box lecturing/activity style.  

What I didn't plan for was whether the students cared or not and how much that would effect me.  It saddens me to see how physically, mentally, and emotionally a lot of the students aren't "in" the classroom.  Life happens — I should get it if anyone should.  School is not for everyone, but it's also valuable in a lot of ways.  It's not just about the academics, but enduring challengs school presents you, finding a way to conquer.  

However, a few of my students really indulge in the material I've presented them.  It's nice to hear that they really enjoyed the reading material and my curriculum and some of the tips I've given them has really helped.  It's those students that I keep pushing for and I just have to shake off the "downs" because I am one person and can only do much.